Supersize

A far person and a thin person engaging in some sort of competition. The title says it all really.

I was watching "Supersize vs Superskinny" the other day. This woman was a fan of pork pies and sausage rolls. So Dr. Christian thought it would be a great idea to get some unsightly bits of pig and dump them in a big bowl and say, "This is what goes into your pies." Fortunately for her, the woman reacted like he expected and doesn't eat nearly so many pies any more. However she missed a trick, she should have been like:

I just been watching Masterchef, yeah, and they are like always cooking pork belly and trotters and pig cheek. They serve it in all the best restaurants and whatnot and folks pay loads to get some trotters on their plate.

Some bits of pig in a bowl. It just takes a couple of hours and highly trained chef to turn this into a plate of food that costs £60. Notice I didn't say it is worth £60.

The thermostat must be broken cos they always seem to be wandering around the Channel 4 health-clinic in their underwear.

Solar Panels

Here is a quick thing that has pissed me off.

I just saw this story on the TV about something to do with financial incentives to install solar panels. I could go back and read it properly, but I doubt I will. While watching, I think, "great, there is a scheme to encourage people to get solar panels, and consequently save energy [and the environment]". But the story quickly turns out to be about how some people are worried about the future of the [solar panel installing] industry. Oh no, some people might loose their jobs! *gasp* Surely they are missing the bigger picture? All those suits they were interviewing should be putting saving the planet as their highest priority and not making money.

Look, here is a house with some solar panels on the roof.

In other news, my exciting TV schedule seems to be winding down. Congratulations to Ash Mair on winning Masterchef: The Professionals. Of course the real winner is the food (or Michel's beard). Greg makes some hilarious noises and Michel makes some hilarious expressions; it really is entertaining viewing. Also congratulations to Harry Judd and his professional partner Aliona Vilani. I would have liked to see Jason Donovan win, but Harry was probably the better dancer.

There has been some sort of comedy show on Saturday evenings. In between Brucie's stand-up slots they play music. There may be some dancing or something going on, but I don't pay that much attention.

This means I have more time for other things. Like being bored. Or maybe, just maybe, working on my blog. I an idea for a series (two) of posts. We will have to see...

Something to look forward to

Not just lots of rhubarb crumble. I have made a couple of discoveries this week, which might possibly brighten my life a bit over the coming months.

Since getting back from america, I have had a renewed enthusiasm for playing the piano. And I have changed the way I play in two ways, both motivated by my desire to amaze people with my fingers (and emotional swaying) should I ever get chance to play the piano to my friends. I plan to play music people will like (aka popular music) and, I plan to play it at any opportunity. This means learning some pop songs, and also, learning them so well that I can play them with no sheet music or aide-memoires whilst drunk.

This is not an easy task, and I have never been very good at memorising music. But with enough effort it might be possible. The hard part is remembering which songs I can remember. I think I am allowed to make a note of that in my phone. But I still have to learn some pop songs. I have been spending some time in the evenings in the last couple of weeks watching videos explaining how to play particular songs.  The frustrating thing is that it is often 18 hours or so later before I can actually play the piano. It is quite a memory challenge to watch a video tutorial and then try to play the piece so much later. I have so far failed to get anything more than the main hook for a few songs.

But then I made a real discovery. A professional pianist who "gives" away sheet music of the pop-songs she plays. (Turns out that gives means you are required to make a donation, but whatever.) So I am totally going to get a few and see if I can learn them. Also, watching all her videos made me realise that I don't object to keyboards (and digital pianos) as much as I used to.

Vika Yermolyeva getting a good sway on.

In a completely unrelated turn of events I started listening to my first ever podcast today. Not entirely sure when I am going to get to listen to it, but now I can get clued up on the weekends NFL fixtures before they happen. It features my favourite ever sports-pundit (it's not a long list): Mike Carlson.

Win a trip to Krispy-Kreme (cash value £10). Be the first to correctly comment with what Mike and I have in common. I will give you a clue, it isn't our taste in shirts. 

Another upcoming treat to look forward to is the new season of Masterchef: The Professionals. Featuring beard enthusiast Michel Roux Jnr and his dim-witted sidekick Greg Wallace, it is actually quite entertaining. It also has Monica Galetti in it, who glares at the contestants until they start crying. Masterchef random quote generator says:

There's no place in Masterchef for pink food. There's no place in the world for pink food.

Another poll about food

Am now back from a recent trip stateside. Which, in part, is responsible for the lack of blogging in recent weeks. I got to do both those things that Americans love to do: work hand and impose democracy on a far away country. Only kidding, the two things I am thinking of that Americans love to do are eat far too much and watch TV. I got to eat lots and lots, and I also watched a small amount of TV. Sometimes I even got to combine the two by watching TV whilst eating. Not only that, but on at least one occasion when I wasn't eating, I was watching the food network in my room.

Which reminded my of Rachel Ray.

Rachel Ray. Like really, what are you going to keep in those pockets?

Who is actually some sort of celebrity chef, who totally has a TV show and writes cookbooks and things. I like this acticle about her, particularly the sentence, "Objects derive meaning from their context".

Food shows are vaguely educational right? Although perhaps for TV purposes they get classed as entertainment. But the the thing that grinds my gears about Ray (or Rachel Ray as people like to call her) is that she can't decide how to pronounce endive. Every single time she mentions the vegetable she says "en-dive or on-deev" and makes a failed little joke out of it. I strongly feel she is supposed to be the authority on this recipe she is presenting, but she seems to be admitting her own ignorance. Just pick one and stick to it woman, people will follow you. And if someone writes it to complain about your pronunciation, then you can sit back and smile, smug in the knowledge that they are a tool, and you are far better looking and wealthier than the people that watch your show.

We all know sex and food make a great combination. And I think we should have a poll on the topic. Another celebrity chef who who likes to combine the two is Nigella.

I was about to try and write some words to express my thoughts on the her, but instead I will unashamedly quote from this blog.

When she leaned over to stir the batter for a chocolate cheesecake I swear I could see the cameraman waging a Herculean internal war to remain professional and not fill the screen with her magnificent breasts, and as my own febrile lust reached the boiling point Nigella pulled her wooden spoon from the creamy, russet mixture, trailing a thick bolus of sweetness to her slowly-parting lips and orgasmically sighed “Mmmmmm…” with unbridled sensuality, later punctuated with an equally erotic and drawn-out “Yuuuuuuum.”

I remember seeing a photo of Ainsley wearing nothing but a bunch of grapes. The internet seems incapable of finding this photo for me again, and so I am unable to share it with you. It will just have to remain a happy memory. It is also the sole reason why I think he deserves a spot in the poll.

Giada de Laurentiis is another american who, like Ray, clearly got a job on TV for her culinary knowledge and skills. Sophie Dahl on the other hand is some sort of ex-model who likes food. The rest are just in the poll to make up numbers.

Michel Roux Jnr

I was pleased to hear on the radio this morning that Michel Roux Jnr. has won "Beard of the Winter". Congratulations Michel! The Beard Liberation Front picks a winner each season, so Michel is now on a very short list to win "Beard of the year".

I am a bit of a fan of the celebrity chef and read his book last year. I got to thinking what I would ask if I ever got the oppertunity to interview him. Naturally my questions are mostly food themed.

• Have you ever used a carrot to discpline a commis chef because you were dissatisfied with his Julienne?
• Which is better, Macdonalds or Burger King?
• What is your favourite pizza topping?
• Can you suggest something for me to do with my lardon?
• Will robots ever be our masters?
• What is your worst cooking related injury?
• Will you make my dinner?

Found this video today. Is worth a look...