An Update and An Apology

It's obviously been a long time since my last post, so there is a lot to say. We seem to be going at about one post a month. Wow.

My rhubarb has died. Possibly this was due to all the rain we have had. Maybe it would have died anyway, we may never know. I might try again next year, I will see how I feel. However for the time being, project rhubarb has utterly failed. For a contrast, my peonies seem to be doing alright. One of them had a flower which was quickly destroyed by heavy rain. It now has another flower.

I had a wisdom tooth out. It hurt for a bit, but now it's okay.

Er, it's been raining a lot. And my house leaks. That's not cool.

I have had two attempts at a mushroom risotto. The first recipe was created by the founding member of the Essex school for spasticated cooks: Jamie Oliver. The second recipe I tried is the property of the Walt Disney Company, and very nice it was too.

Mushroom Risotto with extra mushrooms. For people who really like mushrooms. Oh, and JO suggested putting some freshly chopped herbs on top, cos that's trendy. Or it would be if you could chop them into small pieces.

Inspired by Hugh Fearnly-Whittingstall's book, I had a go at a minestrone soup. As he suggested I put beetroot in it, and (unsurprisingly) everything went purple. I never thought it could be so difficult to tell a carrot from a potato. It was definitely a first attempt ministrone, and quite different to the red water with tiny vegetables you get in tins. I would like to have another go sometime, I think I could change some things and do a better job.

Some of the things I put in my soup: peas, chopped tomatoes, carrots, celery, beetroot, onion, macaroni, courgette, red chard. It also had potatoes and garlic. (And you know like water and salt and shit like that.)

Also in the last month my age has changed from a prime power to a different prime power. That doesn't happen very much after the age of 9. You get 16-17, 31-32 and not many people will make it to the next one.

Never had Irish coffee in a wine glass before. I thought it was a bit weird, but I was wrong.

And now the apology. In an earlier post, I told the world some of my opinions about information. At least I thought I did. I have since re-read a book I first read about 10-15 years ago, and discovered that those ideas had been implanted in my brain by the book, and were nowhere near as original as I thought. The simile between us living in the information age but not knowing what information really is, and iron age men being good at manipulating iron without appreciating its chemical structure was from the book. As is the separation between actual information and whatever physical means is used to store it.

There was one way to think about information in the book that I had forgotten, and so didn't write in my post thinking I had made it up myself. I can now repeat it safe in the knowledge that the author of Goodbye Descartes got it from Alice in Wonderland.

Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin; but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!

The grin is not part of the Cheshire cat. When you move the cat the grin remains. Similarly, information is not a part of a book, or a CD or whatever.

Rhubarb: Part 2

It seems customary these days to begin my post by explaining why it is so long since the last post. However I can't imagine anybody is eagerly waiting for an update on Coughing Fit. The explanation is simple; I have been putting more of my spare time into other things recently. Like watching all the cookery shows on TV at the moment.

Today I finally got to do some gardening. Which is a relief, because I was on the verge of missing my opportunity to get lots of tasks done before winter really prevents gardening. This morning was one of those rare occasions when the weather and my family responsibilities simultaneously allowed me to get in the garden. I seized the moment and made sure I got everything done I needed.

There are still lots of leaves left on the trees, but I got most of the ones on the ground. If I don't get a chance to collect leaves again this year I don't think it will be too bad. But more importantly I moved project rhubarb along a bit. Having cleared a suitable space last time, today I continued to prepare the ground. I mixed loads of home made compost into the clay and rocks. I also removed a few rocks. The soil gets a little better everytime I go out there. As instructed in my rhubarb book, I stuck a whole load of compost into some deep holes and marked the spots ready for spring.

Not only that, but today was one of those very rare occasions when I do some gardening that isn't just weeding and tidying - I planted some things. I had three peonies to plant - can't wait to find out what they look like when they grow. They were just weird bits of twigs when I opened the bag. I hope I put them in the right way up. After that I started the knee-destroying job of planting enough bulbs to keep the Dutch economy going a little longer.Well, perhaps not that many. There were 65. The idea is that you randomly toss them over the site and then plant them wherever they fall. The first part of that is much more fun than the second.

At first glance this may appear very similar to my previous photo of the site. However now it actually contains three peonies, which are virtually invisibly at this stage. And a stick indicating where to plant rhubarb.

After al that work I was tired and dirty and reckoned I deserved a little rest. So I treated myself to a luxury lunch of Heinz smoky BBQ beans on toast. Which was pretty good. Perhaps the second best BBQ type beans I have ever had. The best was at a BBQ earlier this year: some people who I didn't know did them properly, cooking bacon and onions and things. They were nice.

Beans on toast: A meal fit for a king

Rhubarb: Part 1

A friend of a friend has an allotment that he shares with this man...

Somehow, I ended up with some rhubarb in my house a few nights ago. And yesterday I made it into a crumble. This experience reminded me how much I like rhubarb, and how I haven't cooked with it for years and years. Like 10 years probably. My parents had some and I used to love eating it. I would pull it, and "top and tail it" and cook with it. I remember having great fun cutting the leaves off with my very sharp knife. I liked to cut the leaves off in one motion, if the knife got stuck and I had to have a second cut then I was very disappointed.

A Plan is Formed

All these thoughts made me really want to grow my own rhubarb. I seem to remember my dad giving me the impression that it was difficult to get it established, but when it was going it would last for ever. That sort of put me off, but no longer. I am going to grow some, and it is going to be fricking awesome. I selected the most suitable part of my garden and got to work straight away the very next day. There were a couple of problems which presented themselves immediately.

• It is completely the wrong time of year for planting rhubarb.
• There is a giant bush of some sort in the way.
• The soil in that area is rubbish. Full of clay and rocks.

However, these three problems sort of work together to give, what I hope will be, a good outcome. I need to improve the quality of the soil, and by the time I have done that it will be march and I can plant away. And the first thing I want to do to improve the soil is get rid of that bush what is sucking all the nutrients out of the clay and rocks.

I never remember to take the "before" photo. So, instead of a "before" and "after", I can present you with a "during" and a "during".

The stump gets the first round, but I'll be back.

This is an artist's impression of what my garden will look like when Project Rhubarb is complete.  As you can tell I am also planning to add a peony. The artist didn't know what a peony looks like, so he added a nebulous green bush with some colourful dots on it.

A Tale Spanning Three Centuries

I spent a fun afternoon at war with the bush. It's hard work replacing a moderately acceptable bush with empty soil soon to be filled with weeds. The task of excavating the giant rootball was made slightly more interesting by the discovery of a Victorian coin. When it was all cleaned up it turns out to be a penny from 1889.

Difficult to believe, I know, but my kitchen work surfaces aren't actually marble. Instead they are MDF with a clever marble-effect surface.