Christmas Duck

I think it was Mork and Mindy who explicitly pointed out something I had felt for a few years. It is a long time since I saw the show and have no idea who anybody is apart from Mork. But basically, somebody is trying to explain Christmas to an outsider (in this case a slightly deranged space-alien). They have no difficulty explaining what turkey is. It's like chicken, only dryer and not as good. So when asked to explain why you have an inferior bird for the most special of occasions, the man was a bit stumped.

I used to eat Turkey for Christmas, but not for a few years. We had ham for at least the last two years, and this time I got to thinking we should do something different. And I came out of Sainsbury's carrying a frozen duck. 

This isn't a food blog, or a recipe blog, but I will tell you my thoughts anyway. The duck cooked with no issues, and I made an exciting glaze which was sweet, hot, salty and umami. It was however more than a bit tricky to carve. I am rubbish at carving at the best of times, but we very nearly had Chinese style shredded duck for Christmas.

One duck, "lovingly" prepared for roasting. I should have paid more attention is GCSE science, because I was unaware than the insides of a duck were neatly contained in a plastic bag.

Nearly done. Glaze added, just needs another 10 minutes.

Not too bad for my first attempt.

I seem preoccupied by the mathematics of my glaze. It had four ingredients, and four flavours. So it should be that case that each ingredient is there to supply one taste. However that is not the case, and I am unsure what to do with the pigeon principle. Oh shit, there were five ingredients, I forgot about brown sugar. (Which substituted for the molasses I don't have.) 

Right then, a Christmas riddle. Four flavours (see above), five ingredients to accompany duck, one of them is brown sugar. What are the ingredients?

1, (6,5)

2, (5)

3, Brown sugar (5,5)

4, (3,5)

5, (3,5)

First correct answer wins something appropriate. Maybe a Subway turkey sandwich. Obviously, people who live here and ate the meal are excluded. Don't jump in and ruin it for everybody else like you did last time. Yes, you know who you are.

I will accept if you get 4 and 5 in the wrong order! One last clue, the letter E appears 5 times.

Polar Bear Christmas

Can somebody please explain to me what polar bears have to do with Christmas. I totally get that in parts of the northern hemisphere the celebration of Christ's birth happens to fall in the season of winter. So it is natural to associate wintry things with Christmas. E.g. snow, robins and holly with red berries. (Of course the holly is there all year round, but the berries only come out in winter)

What I don't get is polar bears. They don't migrate south into New York state in winter, or anywhere else. So why do we see so many pictures of them cheesing it up for X-mas?

If you want to put this lovable creature in your garden this Christmas then you are a deranged maniac. But the good news is you can totally buy it from Walmart. (Out of stock at time of writing.) Not only that, but America's friendliest supermarket has generously discounted it from $54.00 to $53.93. That is a hugemongous 0.13% saving, after all, this is the season of good will.