Scarborough

Not been to Scarborough for a while, so it was good to take the family there yesterday. We had only been there 10 minutes and we had walked into a "candy & novelty" shop. My wife had waved a lollipop at me shaped like a naked female torso, and my son had waved a lollipop at me shaped like a cock and balls.

What I don't understand, is why Scarborough isn't full of all kinds of terrible diseases. I think it has all the things you need to make disease. It is full of nasty fat people who, when the aren't smoking, are stuffing a burger or an ice-cream into their face. There is discarded food all over stinking in the sun. And the whole place is covered in sea-gull droppings. And after 6 hours parked there, so was my car. There are obviously loads of people bringing their germs in to the town then distributing new ones around the country. Why aren't these disgusting slobs poorly?

I saw some walking miracle in the morning who was eating shrimps out of a polystyrene cup. Fair enough I thought, it looks gross, but I am all for fresh local produce. But later on I saw them shutting up the seafood snack stall (between the burger stall and the ice-cream/doughnut stall) and they were covering all their prawns and crab sticks and stuff with cling-film. Thereby destroying all my picture of fresh local produce.

On my entrance to one of the public toilets I was passed my a man sweeping black slurry out of the toilets. Good thing I had put my disposable flip-flops on, and had changed out of my best work-shoes. (See, that's me being positive.)

Scarborough castle, from the north.

The day promised to be really nice in the morning, so we went preparing for scorchio. I should have known better, and it clouded over in the afternoon. And before you know it, I was half a mile out into the north sea with no jacket, and no shoes. I was a bit chilly. Still, it was an interesting setting to learn that the town had coped perfectly well after European law-makers has stopped the local fisherman from going out and raping the oceans everyday.

There is a new addition right in the middle of this picture.

Nice little Italian-style restaurant on the waterfront. It's got a veranda and lots of views.

Before we left to come home we went to Ask for dinner. I was a little hesitant, as my previous experiences with that chain have been medium to poor, due to the slow service. But I needn't have worried - it was fine. It is definitely a welcome new addition to the town, I am not sure what occupied that prime piece of land before. It is right in the middle of the waterfront with great views and they must surely get lots of passing trade. It is like a beacon of cleanliness in a sea of shit. The food was good, but the best bit was that I could use a clean bathroom to wash my hands before I ate. I don't really understand why places like that pretend to be more Italian that then really are. Maybe all those waiters and waitresses really are Italian, or maybe they are faking. I neither know nor care. But it was really refreshing when I walked into a Pizza Express in London and the waiter said,

"Good afternoon luv, I'll be your waiter. My name's Gary."