What's on TV

Filling the hole left by Thomasina Miers is a new cookery show on Channel 5. The "Real Food Family Cook Off" features well known foodies Matt Dawson, Lisa Faulkner and Anton du Beke. (Fair enough it does have Ainsley Harriot).

Celebrity slapper Matt Dawson MBE had a successful rugby career but has spent the subsequent years faffing around trying to keep his face on TV. He tried dancing and cooking, and now he is trying hosting a food show. If A Question of Sport was Shooting Stars, then Matt Dawson would be Jack Dee.

Anton du Beke is quoted as saying that he can turn anybody into a great dancer. He was also in another cooking show, "Step up to the Plate" with Lloyd Grossman.

Lisa Faulkner used to be a model or some shit. They say don't trust skinny chefs, I guess that might extend to commentary on cookery shows by skeletor.

However, this latest competition based show pales into insignificance next to Monday's "gripping" final of Antiques Master. Unfortunately, I was rooting for the lady specializing in antique tiles, who didn't make it to the final.

Celebrity lesbian Sandi Toksvig was an obvious choice to host  Antiques Master

A Note on the Nature of the Universe

Made a discovery this week and I feel it is my duty to share it with the world in the hope that others don't make the same mistake I did.

I had just finished cleaning up after dinner and made a cup of tea, and I knew that a little later on that evening we would be having plum crumble and custard. I figured I would do some preparation and start the custard, then I could sit down for an hour and all I had to do later was press "start" on the microwave. So I mixed the custard powder and sugar and milk and left it in the microwave. Then I could settle down with my tea and not move for a while.

Later I put the second part of my plan into action and turned the microwave on. However things didn't work out quite like I had planned. For it seems that in the hour I was sat watching TV the custard has settled. So when I first checked to see how it was getting on, it was all runny at the top, and proper solid and messed up at the bottom. Perhaps the best thing to do in this situation would have been to scrap it and start again. But I was so looking forward to not having to bend over to get the ingredients out of the cupboard, that I just made the best of what I had. It tasted alright, but it wasn't the lovely velvety custard I was expecting.

Keep this in mind though... The plan might have worked if I had stirred it just before starting to cook it.